AHA Foundation: Please share your experience with child marriage.
Vilas Wright: When I was 13 years old, I was brutally raped and left on the side of the road, covered in blood and dirt, in West Virginia. What he did to me on that day was not as bad as the ensuing events. Unable to hide the incident because of bruises, bite marks, and wounds, my father found out. My first punishment was to take a vow of silence for three months.
I was required to work in the commune kitchen from sunrise to long after sunset, every day. My parents were members of an Eastern philosophy cult called the Hare Krishnas. My mother was living in India and decided that since I was now impure, she must quickly find a husband willing to take me off their hands. She arrived back in the States and trafficked me to India, where I married a 28-year-old man five months after my initial rape.
AHA Foundation: How did the experience of being forced into marriage as a minor shape your sense of self and create barriers to finding your voice and independence?
Vilas Wright: It has defined my life in many ways, first as a rape survivor and then as a girl tossed aside with no value at all. My husband abandoned me a year later, and I was left homeless in India for some time. Homelessness as a 14/15-year-old white girl in India offers its own traumas. I was on my own at a very young age. This served to both force me to grow up very quickly but also give me a sense of invincibility.
After surviving many rapes and suffering multiple other traumatic events, I felt no fear—least of all a fear of death. I begged god to let me die. This invincibility led to confidence and started me on a path that allowed me to open my eyes. I control my life. Not god. Not men. Not my mother or anyone at all. I could create my own existence as I deemed fit. And I did, eventually, after many years of PTSD and trauma recovery.
AHA Foundation: When did you know you would become an advocate for ending child marriage?
Vilas Wright: I have always been involved in different types of advocacy. I was invited by a dear friend and survivor advocate to the Coalition to End Child Marriage. I am extremely passionate about preventing child abuse in any form.
AHA Foundation: Tell us about the challenges and successes of this journey and what makes you determined to keep going.
Vilas Wright: I am still new to this initiative and am committed to any effort that will save even one girl from the devastating consequences of child marriage, rape, and the theft of her autonomy. I am a member of the DC Coalition to End Child Marriage and the National Coalition. Alongside several other organizations, I have participated in bringing this matter to the attention of DC Councilmembers and urging them to co-sponsor a bill put forth by Councilmember Pinto to end child marriage by removing the exception that allows minors to marry. I will fight this battle until every state has set the minimum age for marriage to 18, with NO exception.
AHA Foundation: What were the biggest obstacles you encountered if you sought help to try to avoid the marriage or leave it?
Vilas Wright: I was never consulted. I did not give consent. I was not allowed a voice or even to speak at all. I was simply given, as a mere possession, to this man.
AHA Foundation: What message would you like to send to any girl who is facing child marriage and feels powerless to escape it?
Vilas Wright: My dear beautiful, sweet child, you are not alone. It’s not your fault. You are valuable, precious, and innocent. What others do to you is not a reflection of who you are. You deserve gentle kindness and loving care. You are so important, and it will get better. I am holding you in my heart and my lap. I am holding you safe in my arms. You will escape this, and you will shine like the diamond you are. Just be strong for now. Help is coming.
AHA Foundation: What kind of support do you believe is crucial for girls to build a future free from abuse and coercion?
Vilas Wright: First, the law needs to change throughout the entire country to mandate 18 as the minimum age for marriage, with no exceptions. Schools offer counseling, and girls at risk should be paid more attention to. Domestic violence shelters should focus on how this environment affects young girls. But my biggest push is that we need to start raising boys differently. We have been telling girls not to get raped for centuries. We have been raising girls to tolerate abuse from men. But we are targeting the wrong audience. Girls are NOT the problem. Boys and men need to be raised with a mindset that does not subjugate women and girls. Society needs to change its misogynistic and patriarchal ways. Society tolerates this behavior. Women are not possessions. Men have to control themselves and hold other men accountable. Only men can prevent rape. ONLY MEN CAN PREVENT RAPE AND THESE ABUSES.
AHA Foundation: How has your experience with child marriage shaped your vision for the future of girls in the U.S.?
Vilas Wright: I am honestly shocked and horrified that we are fighting this battle in the U.S. in 2024. Americans are willfully blind if they think we are superior to other countries. Seven states have no minimum age to marry. California has zero minimum age! We are only at the beginning of this battle. Only 13 states have 18 with no exceptions.
There is no upside to allowing children to marry. It harms no one to make the minimum age, the age of majority. I will use my sadness and anger from my experiences to fight for these children’s rights.
AHA Foundation: How do you see the future of advocacy against child marriage, and what changes would you like to see implemented?
Vilas Wright: To me, and so many, this is a no-brainer. It’s a simple fix to a horrendous abuse. As many things that happened to me in my childhood were immoral, unethical, and illegal, I assumed that child marriage was also illegal. I sometimes feel like I’m missing something here. Why is it not an easy fix? Why can’t our leaders see the simple fix? Why don’t we value children’s lives? Who benefits from these children getting married? I’d like to see this issue resolved. Although I wish it could be faster, I will be in it for the long haul. Simple fix; NO CHILD SHOULD BE MARRIED UNDER THE AGE OF 18, neither here in the U.S. or around the world. It is a human rights abuse.
There is no good argument for allowing children to get married. We need a straightforward bill that will end child marriage immediately. We know the consequences. We know the trauma it causes. Not one more child needs to suffer this.
AHA Foundation: What message do you have for legislators in states where child marriage is still allowed to continue?
Vilas Wright: The blood and tears of these children are on your hands. It’s not a request to move a mountain. It’s a simple measure that will save countless lives.
Learn more about the devastating consequences of child marriage